It’s been quite a while since I last posted. A whole lot has happened during my hiatus, and I have a lot to say. Mostly, I want to encourage you that you’re never too old, never too fat, never too ugly, never too messed up — never too anything — to miss out on love and diving partnership.

I was saying on January 1 that this is the year that dreams come true because 2+0+2+4=8. Eight is the number that represents infinity and abundance. So, it just made sense to me that this was going to be the year that all my dreams came true.

Little did I know that just three weeks later I would be crowned a Ms. U.S. queen. Being a national beauty queen was something that wasn’t even on my radar. That journey has been a whole story by itself that I’m writing all about in my upcoming book Becoming the Magnificent Me: A guide to creating your happiest life. (I’m also doing appearances and speaking engagements talking about my pageant platform: Discovering your magnificence within — A journey of self-love, and I would be delighted to participate in your online or in-person events. Email me for booking information at: PrincessGuide@BecomingPublishing.com.)

I also didn’t know that three weeks later — a day after our second dating anniversary— that I would be engaged and married five months after that. To say this has been the summer of love would be an understatement. None of it would have been possible if I hadn’t practiced loving myself first and being grateful for all the disappointing relationships I experienced.

We always run the risk of not recognizing our perfect match when we’re not clear on who we are and what we want — it can also happen when we’re too superficial or in a desperate place where any warm body will do. If we don’t have that clarity, we’ll never know what attributes the person we’re waiting for has so that we can easily identify him or her.

How to recognize a quality person

There was a time in my life just about three years ago when I found myself feeling tired — no, I was exhausted. I had been waiting for about 7 years for love to come into my life. I spent the first 5 years completely alone — no dating, no kissing, no handholding, no nothing. I was exhausted from waiting and exhausted from dating. I was also exhausted from all the times I got my hopes up only to have them dashed. I was just exhausted. I realized that the best thing I could do to express loving myself first was to stop the obsessive thoughts about another person and stop the negative thoughts about spending the rest of my life all alone.

I realized that I had to change my focus to things that I had control over — things that could help others, feed my purpose and make me feel good. Dr. Wayne Dyer used to say that God is good, and when we feel good, we are feeling God. Al-Anon teaches that when we identify things in our lives that are unmanageable, we give them to God (as we know it) and focus on what we can change and control — ourselves.

I have found that the real magic and amazing thing that happens when you redirect your attention to things that are within your control is that you fuel your spirit, feel good and see results. Things you previously obsessed over tend to work out for your highest good either way — and you become perfectly fine with the outcome.

I began focusing on writing, creating new content for my brand, editing existing content and following through with new ideas and projects I had been thinking about. My spirit began to feel fueled. I began to feel good about myself and my purpose. At the same time, I remained opened to receive love while staying protective of myself and who I allowed into my life.

You know what happened next? The most wonderful, unexpected man walked into my life. I was ready to give up and stop dating for a while — so was he. However, like I’m always saying, everything happens in diving timing and diving order. We were both ready and have been able to fully appreciate and love all the adventures we have together.

Has it been an easy road to happily ever after? As far as the two of us are concerned, it has. More than two-and-a-half years together and about two months of marriage, we’re blissfully happy and grow more in love with each other every day. Have other people outside our relationship made it difficult and painful for us? Yes, they have. It’s been people on my side of the equation, but we’ll talk about how to let go of seasonal people in a future post. What you need to know is that when you find a quality person, you can’t let other people’s opinions or jealousy get in the way of your divine connection. First, you have to know what a quality/divine person looks like, or you may not recognize them when they appear.

Not a quality person …

So, how do we know when a quality person comes along? I believe you have to start with identifying the characteristics of the wrong person before you can become clear on who is right.

Senée Seale Luchsinger is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people transform their lives and relationships. If you’d like to book a personal session with Senée, she’s accepting new clients.

If you’d like a tool to help you transform your thinking and life quickly, download The Princess Guide to Gratitude Affirmations for free.

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