NOTE: From the royal vault originally posted in April 2021.

It’s amazing to me how other people think they have the right to tell you who you are or what your strengths and talents are. It’s one thing when you’re a child and can’t see your value, but it’s quite another when you’re a grown adult and someone tries to rip at the core of your being. Having an outside perspective is good, but you should know and love yourself well enough to know the truth about you.

It’s happened to me many times over the years, but recently, people have gotten bolder. I like to think that I’m self-aware enough that when something is being pointed out to me, I can realize if it’s something that I need to work on. I’m more than willing to do that — and have been doing that intensely for the last several years. However, I have spent a lot of time alone in the past year with the lockdown and a freak Texas snowstorm that made us all shelter in place. I’ve become very clear on who I am, what I am worth and my core value.

When someone attacks what I know to be true about myself, it feels like what I imagine being stabbed in the heart or shot in the chest feels like. I try to handle it with grace and class (staying on my throne with my crown on not and not allowing myself to give them what they deserve — off with their heads or thrown in the dungeon), but it hurts, nonetheless. The circle of people who I allow in my life was already small, but it’s gotten smaller in the last couple of years because I cannot allow negative people to pollute the growth and abundance in my life. You have to do the same.

With gaining the clarity of my essence has also come clear discernment … My spiritual and intuitive abilities have become off-the-charts accurate. I can see people’s motives behind their words and smiling faces. It makes me sad, actually. So many people today are so busy trying to pull others down to make themselves feel better that they don’t see the negative energy they are operating in. It really makes me sad when I see this happening to people like me who are just minding their own business, trying to help people and function in the high-vibrational energy of love. My granny used to say, “Them that are ignorant, let them be ignorant still.” Translation from Texan: Let stupid people be stupid, and get far, far away from them.

Signs of a hater

Many times, these types of people are just Basic Broads/Boys (someone who used to be close to me had another name for them, but we’ll stick with this one). They are envious of anyone who radiates the internal beauty that only comes from doing the intense, internal work that most people are not willing to do themselves. They often display the clinical features of Histrionic Personality Disorder described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition to include, “[Someone who] is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention; consistently uses appearance to draw attention to self; shows self-dramatization, theatrically, and exaggerated expression of emotion [drama queen/king]; and is suggestible (i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances) [people who rush to do the latest trendy thing].”

The other type of person who would treat people this way are the opportunists who are looking to scam others for their own gain. When their strongarming and bullying doesn’t work, they start attacking a person’s character and core being. They often display the features of Antisocial Personality Disorder such as, “little or no remorse for causing pain to others, [and a] consistent pattern of blaming others for what happens to him/her,” according to The Complete Adult Psychotherapy Treatment Planner.

Valuable people protect themselves

Both of these are psychological disorders that need professional help. Often, however, it goes untreated because these people don’t think they are the problem. As described above, some of them blame everyone else instead of looking inside for the answers. Unfortunately, the only things you can do are to distance yourself from these types of people, keep your intentions pure and only allow them around you if or when they are ready to get help to change themselves.

“While you may decide to help someone else change, you can only do so ‘when the student is ready,’” wrote Dr. Wayne Dyer in Real Magic. “You cannot make someone else ready, but you can take responsibility for your readiness … Be ready to give what is necessary, do it with active intention and then let go of the outcome. Your actions will flow from this intention and you will find yourself much more at peace with your relationships, however they work out in the physical world.”

Let me be clear — separating yourself from toxic people isn’t you being selfish or “wrong.” Why do you think there is a wall, guard stations and moat around a castle (when it isn’t on its very own island)? These things are there as protection because the people who live inside — you, the royal person of high standards — have great worth and value. I’ve been hearing unrelated people saying lately that a robber doesn’t target an empty house. They look for value inside. If you have value inside of you (regardless of your material possessions), it is your right and duty to protect yourself, your heart, your energy and your emotions. When people show you who they are, believe them, as it is often said.

“I will send love, but I will remove myself physically from their presence because I am too divine and significant to be the subject of any abuse,” wrote Dr. Dyer. “I will teach them with my behavior, not my words, that I am not willing to be their victim any longer, beginning now … I will not send judgment toward them and their choice to be self-destructive, but the most loving thing I can do is to no longer reinforce their addictive behavior. I will be letting them know that I am no longer in bondage to them, and I am going to be leading my own life on purpose, rather than being an emotional slave to their conduct.” He wrote these affirmations about people in dysfunctional relationships with substance users, but they can be applied to any type of toxic relationship.

Valuable people have pure intentions

You are the only person who gets to determine your worth — after you have done the internal work to make sure you are living authentically with pure motives — and you are the creator of your world. “To recapture that childhood magic and become your own miracle worker, you will have to change the thoughts that created your world of limits and boundaries,” Dr. Dyer wrote. “That takes place in your mind first, and since thoughts originate with you, you have the ability to recreate your own image of what your life is going to be from now on.”

There’s a reason people wear a crown … It’s to protect the mind — the creative space in the body where our reality is manifested. “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he,” Proverbs 23:7.

Most of the time, you have to create your reality in solitude and seclusion — unless you’re blessed with a divine partner who truly believes in and supports you, or you have people in your life who truly love you unconditionally. That is rare today. So, be prepared to either put yourself on lockdown or be Clark Kent during the day and Superman at night when you’re alone. Whatever you do, protect your dreams, visions and plans for the future. Know yourself deeply and love yourself first so that you will not be shaken or defined by others.

Do you have a question about life that you want Senée to answer? Leave it in the comments or email it to PrincessGuide@BecomingPublishing.com.

Senée Seale is a book author, mental health professional and life guide passionate about helping people create positive changes in their lives. If you’d like to book a personal session with Senée, she’s accepting new clients.